


Missing Him

by Chelseabelle1999



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Death, Depressed Louis, Depressing, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Liam Dies, M/M, No Sex, No Smut, Sad, Sad Louis, Why Did I Write This?, grieving louis, lilo, lilo paynlinson - Freeform, more of a drabble than a fic, one direction - Freeform, upsetting, zerrie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:44:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2859467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelseabelle1999/pseuds/Chelseabelle1999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My life was great. I had amazing friends, a great family, and a boyfriend who was my everything. Things were perfect until I get a call from the hospital. My perfect life somehow gets flipped upside within a week. And its all to blame on a horrible car accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing Him

I stare blankly down at the mug of tea Niall had handed me. I'm no longer feeling anything and my mind is holding nothing. "Lou, you know we're here if you need to talk." Perrie rubs her hand over my shoulder looking at me sympathetically. I look up from the tea and see Niall and Harry looking at me sadly from the couch. "Yeah Lou you need to let this stuff out." Zayn makes his way over to Perrie and pulls her into his arm. "I'm good. You guys can leave if you want too." It comes out quietly and emotionless which is exactly how I feel.

"Louis..." Harry says in a light tone. "Please leave. I need to be alone." It comes out a bit harsh but they nod and get up as my lip starts to tremble. I watch as they walk to the door, Niall turn around to me before walking out the door. "If you need anything mate don't hesitate to call." He closes the door lightly and I don't stop a few tears from falling down my cheeks. I look down at my black suit and tie and think that the color resembles my heart and soul. I take a deep breath wondering how my whole life has changed so much in the past week.

I close my eyes thinking about earlier that day. My friends and family surrounding his casket. I didn't allow myself to cry while I was there and I could feel the guilt building inside me because I didn't give a speech for him. I let my mind go back to the day before his death. I picture his beautiful face, him hovering over me when he made love to me that night. I stand up quickly watching the mug of tea shatter into pieces on the floor. "Shit." I lift up a shaky hand and wipe away tears that are soon replaced with more fast coming tears. I leave the broken mug lay in pieces on the floor as I trudge up the stairs to our room. I stand at the doorway looking in at the pair of pajamas of his I had yet to put away. Every time I went near them I could feel my bottom lip start to tremble.

I make my way to our bathroom feeling new tears prick my eyes when I see all his stuff still sitting on the counter. I start the shower and start to undress looking at myself in the mirror. My face looks like shit and my body is covered in love bites from him. I turn away from myself shaking my head and stepping under the warm spray of water. I close my eyes and remember the day of the accident. We had planned to go to dinner that night and he was running a bit late so I called him. He never answered and I soon got a call from the hospital. I rushed into the hospital and broke down into tears when they'd told me he didn't make it. His mother got there shortly after me and I quickly became her shoulder to cry on.

I remember thinking it was all my fault I hadn't remembered to tell him the breaks were going bad in our car. Everyone had disagreed and told me bad things just happen. I still couldn't except that answer. I stepped out of the shower not wanting to think about this anymore. I step out of the shower and slip on a pair of shorts before walking over to our bedside table I'd been avoiding. It held pictures of us from various times through our relationship. I run my shaky fingers over the most recent and my favorite picture of us. I let silent tears fall down my face as I go back to that day in the park about a month ago.

We'd been walking hand in hand when a young woman walked up and asked if she could take our picture. She took dozens but this one had been my favorite so she gave it to us. We were standing with our foreheads pressed together, my hands on his cheeks, his on my hips, our smiles genuine and we're looking a each other as if we're the only people on earth. I open up the drawer, I needed to put this picture away. I stop when I see a small box and a folded paper in the drawer. I lay the picture down and grab the contents of the drawer. I unfold the paper and my breath catches in my throat when I read his writing.

"Louis, You're going to hate me for how cheesy this is but I couldn't think of any other way to do this. We've been together for years now and I couldn't think of a life without you. You made me the person I am today and I couldn't ask for anyone better nor do I want anyone better. You always tell me how scared you are of the future, the uncertainty of it all and I completely agree with you. All I know is that no matter what the future brings for us I want to spend it with you. I know by now you're probably glaring at me from all this and I should get to the point. Louis William Tomlinson, you are my absolute everything, my heart and soul. I never want to have to spend a day or night without you and I need you in my future. Will you do me the honor of being my husband?" I crumple the letter letting it fall from my hand to the floor.

I look to the small box and open it up revealing a gold band. I take the band out seeing 'Boobear' engraved in beautiful cursive on the inside. I slip the ring on my left finger and notice the fit is perfect. I stare at the ring a few seconds before realization hits. The morning of that horrific day he had invited me to dinner that night. He told me he had a special surprise for me. I pull the ring off my finger and throw it across the room. I turn to the picture picking it up before throwing it to the ground watching it shatter. "Fuck." I whimper as my back hits the wall and I slide down it.

I let the sobs rake through my body as I question why this is happening. I rub my hands under my eyes trying to clear my tear streaked face. I cant help but wish he was here to comfort me. I picture him crouching next to me, picking up my chin with his hand like he did so many times. He'd wipe my tears smiling at me and telling me everything was going to be alright before kissing me lightly and pulling me into his arms. I look over at the shards of the photo frame and crawl over to get the picture. I rub my thumb over him and smile a bit at the memory of that day. I see a glint from the corner of my eye.

Looking over I notice it's the ring. I stand up and walk over to it picking it up before slipping it back on my finger. I think about what could've happened that night if the crash never happened. I look down seeing the crumpled note on the floor. I pick it up smoothing it out before laying it with he picture. I bring them to my chest and hug them as I lay on the bed. I put my face in the covers breathing in the smell of him. I sigh realizing how tired I am from crying all night. I know that tomorrow I would have to call my friends and bring them over so I could talk to them.

As much as I didn't want to I knew it would help me get on my beginning to healing. Maybe one day I could move on, it could take months or even years. Maybe I would never move on, but what really mattered was me excepting that he's gone. I yawn and look up to the ceiling before smiling and letting some tears fall. "Yes, Liam James Payne I will marry you. Maybe not in this life but possibly in the next one. Just always know that you are my absolute everything and always will be." I finally drift off after a few more stray tears, his note and our picture pressed to my heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. I'm sorry about this. But I got this idea and was like I have too. I don't understand how people write this stuff. It's depressing. And I'm in tears because I accidentally deleted this once. This is my first fic with no smut.


End file.
